Her Thoughts
by SailorNerd
Summary: She got back on her feet, she has to save them. She got back up, she'd never really have a choice, it was her duty... She saw the look, and knew it would one day lead to her downfall... She'd been through more than she thought she could ever handle...


Her Thoughts

She got back on her feet, she has to save them. She got back up, she'd never really have a choice, it was her duty... She saw the look, and knew it would one day lead to her downfall... She'd been through more than she thought she could ever handle.

* * *

The battles were getting harder, and she knew that sooner rather than latter she'd have to face whoever had started all of this. But at the moment, she was just worrying about the battle at hand. None of the girls had arrived yet; it was just her and Tuxedo Mask. Today's monster- for surely it could only be considered a monster- had extra fight in it. It kept throwing attack after attack, punch after punch and something that looked suspiciously like blue fireballs. The fights were getting harder, but she wasn't giving up. Not when she had a reason to keep fighting.

She was terrified. Every battle she was scared, but this was different. Lately she'd been braver, facing her fears head on instead of running. But, somehow this was different. The girls were never late for any fights, never this late. If something had happened to them on their way here she'd never forgive herself. She was the one who had called them, and she'd take full responsibility if they were injured. She was petrified, she couldn't remember the last time she felt one hundred percent safe, with or without her team with her.

Tuxedo Mask was right behind her. She felt him tense up and fear gripped at her throat. It was coming right for them, so she acted on impulse. She pushed him in his side, throwing all her weight to get them both out of harm's way. The landing was pretty rough and she felt the attack lightly graze her feet, but it was okay. He was okay. He was right behind her, always behind her, to watch her back.

She got back on her feet, knowing she didn't have a choice. She had to save her family, and her family was everything to her. Her family was not only in blood. Her family consisted of her friends, of him. Her family was everything she loved combined. Her family was special, and had been hurt in the past. She wasn't done saving her family. She got back on her feet, knowing she had to finish saving them first.

She got up. Not because she wanted too, she'd never wanted this. She'd never wanted the thought that if she failed, that the world would be destroyed. She'd never wanted that pressure, that stress. She got up, because if she didn't, no one else would step up for the innocents in the middle of this never ending war.

She'd never wanted to kill. She knew the things she killed were evil, that _they_ were trying to kill. But that didn't make it any less hard. Her family didn't understand. To them, they deserved to die for what they were doing. But she saw the look in their eyes before they were gone. The look that said they thought themselves that they should die. She was a murderer. Not by choice, but that didn't make it any less hard.

The girls arrived, unharmed. For once, she hadn't hurt them. She hadn't made them suffer for her. She hadn't had to watch them in pain, to watch them get taken from her, to watch them die. They arrived unharmed physically, but she knew they had cuts on the inside that needed mending.

She saw the look once again. She pretended to rejoice in the monster's defeat with her friends. She pretended that it was okay. It seemed she did a lot of pretending these days. She pretended to cry, because it was easier than showing her true pain. She pretended to smile, because it was easier than showing her sadness. She pretended to have no worries, because it was easier than showing her panic at the thought of saving the world. She saw the look once again, and she knew she'd eventually break.

She went back home. She crawled under her covers, taking Luna with her. The cat and he were the only ones who saw through her facade. She loved her family, but they never noticed. She went home, but not before making sure they wouldn't notice.

The battles were getting harder, but she'd never give up. Lately she was never safe, and she knew she'd probably never be safe again. He was always there for her; he'd always be there for her. She got back on her feet, she has to save them. She got back up, she'd never really have a choice, it was her duty. She was a killer, it was a necessary evil that would break her if she kept her mouth closed and refused to talk about it. She'd watched her sisters fall before her eyes, and she'd been scarred for life, _they_ had been scarred for life, even if she healed the wounds. She saw the look, and knew it would one day lead to her downfall. She went back home, unsure if she should call it that, it was a house she lived in, but the people who lived with her barely knew her.

She'd been through more than she thought she could ever handle. She'd been through more than most teenage girls her age. And when Luna had approached her about becoming a Sailor Scout, her first thought, her first words, had been,

"That sounds sorta cool!"

* * *

One-shot

By SailorNerd

Disclaimer: I'd not own Sailor Moon but I own this story, blah blah blah.

Mmmm, so this one is kinda depressing... I've had ideas for angst stories, and this is the first one I typed up. It's different from the way I usually do stories (if you've read my other ones you'll know what I mean). This was a little out of my comfort zone, so I'd love to hear what you think. Do you think this is the worst story that you've ever read, or do you think it's great? Do you have any tips for me to use in the future? Please leave a review to let me know! Thanks for reading!


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